watson’s
thanks,
watson
by
august 6 (8:00 a.m.)
so far i’ve spent most of the day at my human’s door waiting for him to wake up. Boy, do I need my morning pee!!!! i’ve cried, even barked, but he won’t wake up. He’s sort of a heavy sleeper. That’s ok, cuz if he doesn’t wake up soon, he knows exactly what he’ll be getting. Want a hint? - it’s yellow and has to do with his new carpet.
august 6 (1:30 p.m.)
sleeping... don’t bother me!
watson villar Goodman
8 pairs of panties
(3 pairs of Matt’s girlfriend’s, 2 pairs of matt’s brother’s girlfriend’s, and 3 pairs of their roommate julian’s girlfriend’s)
7 pairs of sandals
(3 pairs of matt’s sandals, 2 pairs of aaron’s, and 2 pairs of julian’s)
1 pair of Prada shoes
(the inspiration for this site! also $350 dollars down the drain... sorry, Liz.)
1 $3000 hair wig
(another one of liz’s possesions I destroyed. She is a hair stylist. and, Boy, was she pissed over this one)
2 mattress sheets
(sometimes I pee in the house because matt waits too long to take me out. so i pee on his bed)
2 remote controls
(the #6 button on Matt’’s doesn’t work anymore. he complains about it constantly)
11 DvD Cases
(Those things are hard to crack. I always want to get inside one to eat the round shiny thing)
The entire carpet of our old apartment
(that carpet was good, I did so much damage, that mattt and company still owed thousands of dollars after paying the deposit)
endless chew toys
(what a waste.. some didn’t even last a minute!!!)
More to come....
good morning! boy do i feeel good today. last night my human let me sleep next to him the whole night that’s a big deal since his girlfriend doesn’t like me too much (she hasn’t gotten over that prada shoe thing yet) Anyways, gotta run.... nature’s callin really early this mornin.. See ya’roun!
august 7 (6:20 A.M.)
Just spent 20 minutes chasing my tail... couldn’t get it... gonna take a nap on my favorite cushion - “little Green”...Ahh! i love naps!
august 7 (11:34 A.M.)
Just took a walk to piedmont dog park . Wheww that took a lot out of me...
one dog decided to chase me for like 15 minutes straight. I guess he thought he could catch me. yeah right! I’m the canine version of the speed demon! Besides this dog was fat. His owners must be feeding him too many treats. Cuz he needed the exercise!
well i gotta catch my zzzz’s till my next walk,
august 9 (10:13 A.M.)
I have to get this off my chest...... I chewed up another bra last night! I don’t know what it is with bras, but they have a strange power over me, i am addicted to them just like a crack addict is addicted to crack..
At night, when the humans are all Asleep i get this strange urge for a bra (i like the strap part best)... I cant control this urge. And the result is always a dead bra :(
Does that mean I need to go to doggie Detox? Is there such a thing? Why does my human’s girlfriend keep leaving her bras on the floor? Doesn’t she realize i have an unhealthy addiction (BTW, they’re c-cups).
I’m scared. I just can’t stoP!
august 10 (8:41 A.M.)
august 11 (3:20 A.M.)
gee, am I bored....soooo bored. I just want to do something, anything, but everybody is sleeping.
No one understands...Im a beagle/english hound mix - I’m supposed to be high-strung. my humans should know this!. They should be playing with me Right now!!!!!!!
so im going to do something to wake them up. Here it goes....
(high pitched squeal)
yay!!!!!! it worked!
my human’s watching that big box again. he likes doing that a lot! This time he’s watching other humans jump from very high into the water. he keeps talking about this thing called “the Olympics” and how “cool” it is... i rather just take a nap than try to figure out what he’s watching on the box.... goodnight.
august 11 (9:48 p.M.)
Right now my human’s fingers are tinkering with this cool looking machine with an apple on it (I wish i had fingers)... He keeps telling me, he’s doing business (whatever that is - i thought it was pooping) and that he’s doing it for me.
But i Don’t care.. I just want my morning walk. It’s almost 10:30 and and I still haven’’t got my walk! what’s up with that!!!!... Oh wait, he just said he’s going to take me on a walk.
Thank god! you should see how fast my tail is wagging!
august 12 (10:21 p.M.)
blog
ahhhhhh...
august 14 (8:58 a.M.)
just took the best pee of my life!!!
I’m all Alone... My humans left me... they woke me up really early to go out... And then they left.... I barked and barked, but they still left. I don’t know what to do?!? Barking didn’t work, neither did crying. They’re gone. and i don’t know if they’ll ever be back....
Oh wait!!!!, I found something to chew!!!...it’s that funny looking thing that my human wears on his head. I wonder what it tastes like... Well, there’s only one way to find out....
august 16 (8:45 a.M.)
I threw up 4 times yesterday... what can i say? I like eating stuff off the ground,,,,Maybe my human would learn. And Give me more of the food he puts in his mouth... That stuff always tastes better than anything i eat of the ground.
august 19 (2:45 a.M.)
ahhh..... (stretching),,,,That was a good night sleep.... My human even let me sleep on his bed even though i threw up 4 times yesterday...Gee, am i a lucky dog :)
august 19 (8:30 a.M.)
I was such a good Boy yesterday.... I didn’t chew on a single human thing... God, is it tough giving up chewing... it’s such a big part of my life....humans always complain about quitting smoking! But that’s probably much easier than quitting chewing! they get to chew on tasty food all day... All i get are disgusting brown pebbles!
august 21 (10:39 a.M.)
my human is putting clothes in a big bag.... the last time he did that he left me for a long time.... I can’t keep track of time, cuz im a dog, but it was long.... i hope he doesn’’t leave me again. last time was kinda scary. He took me to the human wearing a white coat. my human called him “The Vet”. Nice guy, but the food sucked!
august 22 (11:27 a.M.)
i miss matt...
august 23 (12:15 p.M.)
i miss my morning pee with him, i miss my walks to piedmont park, i miss the way he rubs me on my belly... i miss... oooh, is that a squirell?
Matt came back last nite! i was sooo happy to see him that I likcked him on his face like a hundred times. he kept squishing my face telling me how much he missed me. then he went up to his room... he said “holy something” very loudly so i ran into my crate.... i think i did something bad.
august 26 (10:31 a.M.)
i’m watching the talking box again with matt... i don’t know what he finds so entertaining... now my “chewing” bone - that’s entertaining!
august 27 (8:58 p.M.)
YESTERDAY I ONLY GOT ONE WALK.. usuAlly matt gives me LIKE three! he SAYS he has a cold AND DOESN’T FEEL WELL. BUT I don’t understand. HOW CAN HE HAVE A COLD WHEN IT’S SO HOT OUTSIDE? AND WHY IS HE COMPLAINING? I GO ON WALKS IN THE HEAT WITH A FUR COAT ON ALL THE TIME... WHAT A WUSS!
august 29 (10:31 a.M.)
Macy is over again... she’s a pug. Everyone keeps saying she’s my girlfriend, but i’m just not attracted to her...she’s nice and all, but I don’t have those kinds of feelings for her... Actually, I don’t have those feeling for any type of girl dogs.
august 30 (2:47 p.M.)
Why aren’t i attracted to girl dogs?... I feel like a part of me is missing.
august 30 (3:21 p.M.)
OMG! I was neutered!!!... i overheard the humans talking about it... I don’t know what it means, but i think it’s bad...
august 31 (11:32 p.M.)
Who’s room should i sleep in tonight - matt’s or his roommate julian’s? I think i’ll choose julian’s... his room has lots more stuff to explore with my mouth... Tonight’s going to be a chewing adventure!
September 1 (11:54 P.M.)
Ugh!!!! 10:48 am is way too late in the day to take my first pee.... matt’s lucky i held it!!!!!
September 3 (11:54 P.M.)
woah... i just figured out something big - there are 2 types of humans!!!!! - one type grows hair on their face like matt... the other type grows hair down their backs... I grow hair everywhere... so I am definitely not a human. Thank god.... because humans are weird!!!
September 5 (2:00 P.M.)
Back to the topic of hair… why does my hair keep falling off?… matt always complains I leave it everywhere…. I guess it’s because I have a lot of it… I try hard not to lose it so Matt doesn’t get mad, but I can’t make it stop… it just falls off.
September 6 (11:32 a.M.)
this morning i saw a squirrel so i decided to chase it... Right? But then I was suddenly jerked back by a powerful force. i really felt it in the neck area... I choked and choked... It was horrible... hopefully that won’t happen to me the next time I chase a squirrel
September 8 (9:14 a.M.)
that thing that holds me back from catching squirrels is called a “leash”... now that i know, i’m going to chew through it!
September 9 (10:37 A.M.)
last night was Flip flop heaven... I found where the humans hide them... had a nice meal of 3 pair... MMm...MMm...MMM!
September 10 (6:43 A.M.)
okay, it’s time to go to the dog parK... I’m in the mood to sniff some butts!
September 13 (12:31 p.M.)
now that there’s a video starring me, i’m as famous as Paris hilton’s dog - tinkerbell.... oh no!!!
September 17 (3:43 p.M.)
become a member of things my dog ate...
Matt got me beggin-strips, my favorite doggy treat in the whole world. well, I guess i shouldn’t eat that new black thing he talks on. he loves that thing... Whats an iphone, anyway?
September 24 (11:58 p.M.)
I ate this pink stringy thing this morning... Matt’s girlfriend was real mad... matt yelled at me too. But It was so pink, And it was on the floor, what was I supposed to do? I had to try it.
October 1 (9:10 a.M.)
oh... It was underpants.
October 1 (9:13 a.M.)
This weekend was fun... Matt took me to the dog park 4 times. That’s like a record. I ran and ran and ran... Then i slept a lot. I didn’t even have much time to chew on stuff because i was so busy sleeping.
October 6 (10:27 a.M.)
uh oh... I did something bad. I don’t know what it is, but it has to be something bad. matt’s screaming
October 16 (9:13 a.M.)
Where’s my bone? Where’s my bone? Where’s my Bone?
October 24 (3:15 a.M.)
What’s that stuff falling from the sky? Is that water? oooh... that’s kinda scary. but it sure tastes good when you lick it off plants and other green things.
November 10 (4:15 P.M.)
Is that a sandal? that’ll do.
see the complete list of “people foods” your dog shouldn’t eat... Click here
trust me,
no raisins.
Boy, is matt impatient! you see, When I go poo or pee i have to find the perfect spot. it’s kind of like an art form for me. Matt just wants to go back inside because it’s cold. but you can’t just pee on the first thing you see. Some territory is worth marking much more than others. For instance, aaron’ss bed!!! muhahahaha
November 17 (4:15 P.M.)
Yesterday I got an awesome write-up in the New york timeS! yes, the actual new york times! you can read the article yourself right here. The writer makes my owner matt sound like a smart guy, but i’m the one that truly runs the show around here. Matt knows it too. That’s why he hasn’t updated the site since last november. I was too busy eating his things. he had to get a real job to pay for them.... But i’m back!!!!
June 8 (5:55 P.M.)
morning belly rubs are the best... next is the morning pee :)
june 9 (8:06 a.M.)