The first nightmare occured when I was working two jobs, housecleaning during the day and security guard at night, it was Christmas time. I had called the kids and asked what they were doing...they said 'Cleaning'. I said 'cleaning', you guys don't clean', they said 'we have to', I asked why. They said the dogs ate the Christmas tree and the entire living room, including two Christmas cactus plants and 3 poinsettia's my mother had just got me. They said it was pretty bad. I called my mother and told her I thought I would need her and her shop-vac and would she meet me at the house.

 

When I walked in, I thought I would die. There was the remnants of our tree and all the decorations, plants etc, from the front door all the way thru the dining room...broken balls, dirt, leaves, just crap all on the couch and chairs, the entire floor was covered...it was so awful I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. They ate the balls off the tree as high as two dogs could reach. When I say they ate them, I do mean, they ate them!!  It was a diaster from hell.

 

I had a beige carpet..here was all this plant dirt everywhere, we finally got it all cleaned up and decided we wouldn't put anymore balls on the tree where they could reach. My beautiful Christmas decorations and plants were gone, all gone. I told my husband it was his female that did this and my dog King would never do this. I made him take her to work with him the next day. He called to say the dog threw up in his truck and it was full of Christmas ball pieces...so I know they ate them.

 

These two dogs ate a 3 piece livingroom suit. We had an old victorian house, the kids had a livingroom and so did we. So they started in the kids area with the chair. This was large overstuffed furniture. Then they ate the loveseat. Then went the couch.

 

So now there was no furniture in the kids livingroom. My brilliant husband brought home 3 more puppies, so King, the male, he and the puppies ate the arm off of the remaining couch and holes right through the middle of the cushions. There went that couch. We got another couch.

 

I was at work one day and my mother called and asked me how well I liked my couch. I said what couch, what was she getting at. She said I did not have a couch anymore, just what was left of it....it was the kind of couch where one could actually see the bite marks where they sunk their teeth in and had a jolly time eating it.

 

Well, that next morning with our dog eaten couch, my husband ( he is an ex now) and I had gotten into a morning knockdown brawl and the police came...I often wonder what they thought when they saw what was left of that couch as it was still in the livingroom.

 

The ironic thing is that the day we went to court, I had the one dog King tied to the piano because he had a broken leg from falling through the ceiling...we were remodeling.. don't ask ....and the vet said no running or jumping. I figured how much damage could they do with one dog tied to the piano and Queenie loose. Well, we came home and they had eaten what was left of two whole livingroom suites...they ate the darn recliner and my Great Aunt Jane's rocking chair...it had springs with stuffing on the seat..well, they ate the whole seat..all of it, the back cushions, the seat cushions,right down to the springs..I still have that chair with dreams of fixing it.  How does a dog eat a recliner...there was nothing left but a mess.

 

By this time we were a family of 5 sitting on outside yard furniture inside our living room. It was all we had left. Oh, the only thing they didn't chew up was the round chair they slept in.

 

They ate two twin size mattresses, many pairs of shoes, pocketbooks, books, gloves, anything they could get at. They ate the kids toys!!!!

 

So then, when the kids would put the dogs in our bedroom for reasons unknown to me, they started taking chunks out of our mattress. My husband didn't want to tell me about it. He said, could you buy me some of those iron on patches..I asked him why he would need them. He said to patch his clothes. I said, why do you need them when I patch all your clothes. Well, this one night we came home to discover holes all in our bed. I said, well, just flip the mattress over. He looked at me sullenly. He said, Do you remember when I asked you for those iron on patches?? He flipped the mattress over to expose even more holes he was hiding from me. This was really the end of the end. We had no furniture left, and now they were after the beds. We had to get a new mattress because we were losing a little bit of it on a weekly basis.

 

One of the really bad things they would do was steal the meat off the table. I would put the dinner on the table and call everyone and go back to the kitchen and whole hams, roasts and chickens disappeared off the table...they did this before and after dinner...if they didn't get the meat before dinner, when we were clearing the table they would get it then. They have been known to get thawing meat out of the kitchen sink. Queen would take a cast iron skillet right off the stove.

 

The day they had the cat in their mouth, shaking it to death and here I was cracking the dog in the head with a 2 x 4, he wouldn't let go of the cat and the female dog was biting at the cat too. I put my bare foot on that cat's belly and pushed my foot as I yanked his collar and she got loose, but not after lacing the entire sole of my foot open. That was the day King went to the SPCA. I knew he was the best looking and best behaved one of the pair and he would get a home, just not one with cats. He was a very loving dog and it killed me to let him go, but this was getting ridiculous. Besides, the cat was there first.

 

Queenie's favorite thing was getting into the garbage can every chance she got. She would spread it all over my kitchen or the diningroom. I had to keep the can up and if I forgot, she never did, she got me each and everytime I forgot to put it up, There would always be a mess for me to clean up.

 

Queen escaped every chance she could get out the door and I can't tell you how many times I had to chase her down in the car. I miss that darned dog. In the end it was just me and her. I had her 10 years and she got spindle cell sarcoma in her foot. It was a sad day when she went to Rainbow Bridge. The song, Spirit in the Sky was playing on the radio on our way to the vet. She went in my arms the same way she came into my life, in my arms. I forgave her for all she did.

 

Then meanwhile, Since Queen would not allow another dog in the house, my son had brought home Coco. I bought a 10 x 10 chainlink pen, brand new dog house,shots, the whole bit. I felt bad when it rained hard, as there was not a dry place in the yard. I let her in..this dog ate my son's entire room. She ate an entire speaker, Cd's, DVD's, many pairs of shoes, electrical cords plugged in to the wall. She ended up in the laundry room which was large and I had this antique couch I was redoing. I had it half done and she ate the wooden arms off of it. I gave her away.

 

I never knew dogs who could eat so much furniture and be so destructive. I miss those dogs dearly.

 

 I then married and moved and my husband had a dog, Angel.  Angel ate the zippers out of 2 pair of my good leather boots. She ate one of every pair of slippers I bought. she chewed on all of my shoes. She would get in the trash can too. She started eating the couch cushion to the point we couldn't keep it on the couch anymore.

 

We are down to one dog now. He is good. He likes to get in the trash. But he does it politely. He just sticks his head in the can, he doesn't tip it over and spread it around, he just takes out what he wants.

 

I have laughed with tears in my eyes writing this, I enjoyed the memories brought back. My son has a 6 month old dog that lives in the basement with him and she decorates his room everyday and chews up all she can, all I can do is laugh and be glad I am not the one who has to clean it up!!